Memes will kill us all and replace us with robots (or let me tell you about my characters)
This meme was stolen from here.
Step 1: List 10 of your characters.
Step 2: Answer these questions!
All characters listed are human unless otherwise noted.
- Keddleford Toddingfield (3.5 scout-based, arcane spell slinging multiclass nightmare. First and only playboy/charmer type character I’ve ever played.)
- Jadae (3.0 elf wizard/fighter. First female character I ever played. Destroyed the world.)
- Smite (4e warforged paladin. Smite SMITE!)
- J9999 (Big Eyes, Small Mouth shotgun wielding vigilante for a steampunk western game.)
- Talmiir (3.5 psionic warrior and awesome guy. First and only character I’ve played that referred to himself in the 3rd person.)
- Jaina (3.5 paladin/wilder/elocator and owner of her own mercenary company. Tried my best not to play bitch/slut archetype, but the rest of the other players got confused by a female holding authority whilst not being a bitch/slut.)
- Kaleb (First 3.0 character. He was a quiet, unassuming half-elf cleric.)
- Tobias Stillleaf (3.5 halfling paladin for Living Greyhawk. Fought with a pick-axe. Almost as awesome as Talmiir.)
- Felix (Sir Stillleaf’s trusty warpony.)
- Kyo (Ultima Online character on a very small, highly customized shard. By day he was a tailor; by night an assassin. He also ran the local gentlemen’s club… and even made the club uniforms.)
1. Four invites Three and Eight to dinner at their house. What happens? (J9999 invites Smite and Tobias to dinner at his house. What happens?)
Much patting on the back would occur between these three as they regale each other of tales of their good deeds. They’d probably agree to form an adventuring party and go off to right wrongs.
2. Nine tries to get Five to go to a strip club. How? (Felix tries to get Talmiir to go to a strip club. How?)
I imagine it would run something like an episode of Lassie… except the well is a strip club and Timmy is a stripper named Bambi.
3. You need to stay at a friend’s house for the night. Who do you choose, One or Six? (Keddleford Toddingfield or Jaina?)
4. Three falls in love with Six, Eight is jealous. What happens? (Smite falls in love with Jaina, Tobias is jealous. What happens?)
A warforged falls in love? That’s beautiful! As for Tobias? See the answer to question 10, as the reaction would be the same.
5. Four jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who comes to your rescue, Ten, Two or Seven? (J9999 jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who comes to your rescue, Kyo, Jadae or Kaleb?)
As a cleric of Fharlanghn, Kaleb would be the most likely to be wandering around and most willing to help of the three.
6. One decides to start a cooking show. Fifteen minutes later, what is happening? (Keddleford decides to start a cooking show. Fifteen minutes later, what is happening?)
The pretty assistants would be doing most of the work, while Keddleford goes on to talk about how amazing his cooking is.
7. Three has to marry either Eight, Four or Nine. Whom do they choose? (Smite has to marry either Tobias, J9999 or Felix. Whom do they choose?)
Smite is truly evolving into something more than machine. I’d have him pick Felix.
8. Seven kidnaps Two and demands something from Five for Two’s release. What is it? (Kaleb kidnaps Jadae and demands something from Talmiir for her release. What is it?)
Kaleb would only kidnap Jadae if it meant saving the world. Since both Kaleb and Talmiir are save-the-world type of guys, Jadae would probably end up being locked away for a long time.
9. Everyone gangs up on Three, does Three have a chance in hell? (Everybody gangs up on Smite, does he have a chance in hell?)
He would get a few good shots in, maybe taking one or two out with him, but he wouldn’t actually have a hope of winning.
10. Everyone is invited to Two and Ten’s wedding, except for Eight. How do they react? (Everyone is invited to Jadae and Kyo’s wedding, except for Tobias. How does he react?)
Tobias would be a bit hurt (especially since Felix was invited), but being an upstanding paladin, he wouldn’t make a public fuss and instead bottle it all up, saving it for the day he snaps, goes a bit blackguard and trades in Felix for a mini nightmare.
11. Why is Six afraid of Seven? (Why is Jaina afraid of Kaleb?)
Because Kaleb ate a whole pony!
12. One arrives late for Two and Ten’s wedding. What happens and why were they late? (Keddleford arrives late for Jadae and Kyo’s wedding. What happens and why were they late?)
Jadae would promptly fry Keddleford with whatever offensive spell she would deem appropriate (probably taking out a few of the other guests too). Jadae would then have to zap her maid of honour (or equivalent) too, as she would also be late.
13. Five and Nine get roaring drunk and end up in your house. What happens? (Talmiir and Felix get roaring drunk and end up in your house. What happens?)
It sounds like they had a great time at the strip club. Talmiir would throw up and then pass out. Felix would stay up with me and play Left 4 Dead.
14. Nine murders Two’s best friend. What does Two do to get back at them? (Felix murders Jadae’s best friend. What does she do to get back at him?)
She’d kidnap Tobias and start mailing him back to Felix bit by bit.
15. Six and One are in mortal danger, only one of them can survive. Does Six save herself or One? (Jaina and Keddleford are in mortal danger, only one of them can survive. Does Jaina save herself or Keddleford?)
She would think about leaving him (because he can be such a rat bastard pervert), but in the end, I believe that she would save him.
16. Two and Three go camping. For some reason they forget to bring any food. What do they do? (Jadae and Smite go camping. For some reason they forget to bring any food. What do they do?)
Since Smite doesn’t eat and isn’t quite edible himself, Jadae would have to probably eat her familiar, Thomas the Toad, because she wouldn’t actually have spells to help her survive in the wild.
The hardest part of this meme was remembering 10 characters (that’s why I slotted Felix in – which only added to the fun). Now, all hail our robot overlords!
Subscribe to comments with RSS.